Up until this week, I really was enJOYing the season. However, this week was a blur. Did I shower? Not sure, and I certainly didn't sleep or eat much. I had originally planned to ship my gifts off on Wednesday. Problem was, I hadn't bought all the gifts that I needed to send at that point.
Thursday rolls around, and I buy what I need and plan to wrap it ALL that night. But it's pretty hard to wrap gifts with NO tape. I have no tape because I have scissor-stealing minions, who don't bother to TELL me when they use THE LAST OF THE TAPE!!!
Friday, I get ready to take the kids to school. My son is still wearing pajama pants at 8:00 in the morning. Why isn't he dressed for school? Because his jeans were in the washing machine, despite the fact that I had asked him if his pants were put in the dryer at like 7:00. My almost 11-year-old daughter, who is usually very resourceful and will put the clothes in the dryer if she needs pants, is wearing the DIRTY pants she had on the day before. Seriously? What did I do to deserve this?
So after loosing all my Christmas joy, yelling at my kids, making them both cry, and dropping them off at school an hour late (yes, I felt like the worst mom in the whole entire world), I go to Walgreens to buy tape....and a few more gifts. Get home and sit down to start wrapping and my alarm goes off. It's time to get the children from school. Yes. I have an alarm for that.
I spent the afternoon and late into the evening wrapping gifts and packing (cramming) them into the Priority Mail boxes I had previously picked up from the post office. (I felt really good about that proactive move too.) Went to bed when I just couldn't hold my head up any longer. But. I only had 3 of 7 boxes ready to go.
Saturday, this morning, I spent another 5 hours getting gifts - the thoughtful ones that I started working on a month ago but never finished - ready to go in the mail. I begged my husband to take the packages to the Post Office for me, because I still have brushed my teeth and am in my pajamas. He agreed. Hallelujah! The packages are all ready and the Christmas joy is starting to return, even though my living room looks like this:
But then. He starts YELLING AT ME! Actually, he may have just been talking, and it might have been me who started yelling. But he was saying the boxes needed to be put in bags so he could carry them, and that he won't make it to the PO in time, because I WAITED TO THE LAST MINUTE.
I'm sorry. WHAT?! Ummm...DO NOT EVEN! I think I have been baking and making gifts, and decorating, and shopping online and in ACTUAL STORES, and recording every purchase on a SPREADSHEET so I don't go over budget, for the past 3 WEEKS. I picked out all the gifts. I wrapped all the gifts. Including HIS own sister's presents. I have not gone to bed before midnight all week long. Wait. I lied a bit. He bought 2 of the gifts. Online. And it was MY gift idea for our children. Easy.
But before you think I am calling my husband lazy or something, let me say he is wonderful and helpful. He went grocery shopping after working a long day last night and didn't get home until 8:00 pm. He did the dishes when I asked him to this morning, since we had no clean ones. He made me breakfast and coffee - without me asking. He is Sweet and Helpful. He will be making Christmas dinner. Love him for those things and so much more.
However, when it comes to Christmas presents, it's all on me. Every year. I wrap every gift by myself and usually late into the night. I go to the stores and stand in the lines at the PO to ship several boxes, which no one put into bags so that I could carry them easily. So, when my husband dared to say one package might not make it, because I could not fit it into a bag, I kind of lost it. I YELLED, "It better make it!!!" loud enough for all the neighbors to hear and slammed the door. Then mumbled a few curse words under my breath. Hey, I never said I was perfect.
Shipping packages is the most awful part of this wonderful time of the year for me. I love to give. I really, really do. I enjoy making or picking out gifts for my family and friends. I even enjoy wrapping them up into pretty presents. BUT. The whole gifting thing isn't really what Christmas is about, and when it takes up so much of our attention and time and stresses us out, it makes me wonder, is it all really worth it? Right now I just want to get back to focusing on baby Jesus. Back to singing "Holy Night" and "Come Let Us Adore Him" in a darkened sanctuary, illuminated with candles, where I can sense Jesus. For me, Christmas is feeling the presence of God, alive, among us, and the whole shipping presents thing typically steals any such feeling from me. Glad it's done. Hopefully. Not sure, since my husband hasn't come back yet. Maybe he is returning my presents.
Wishing you and your family Christmas Joy and Presence.
Have yourself a Merry little Christmas,
Ashley
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