9.19.2014

In the Middle of one of THOSE days

Ya know those days when you have all these great ideas of the awesome things you will accomplish? You wake up ready to take on the world, to create, to organize, to just DO IT. And then...you get up.

Today started like this: I didn't get a chance to wash my face because the child who is always ready for school 30 min early hadn't finished making her lunch but has a field trip so she can't just buy school lunch. And I look down and she isn't even wearing shoes. So I make a sandwich and she gets her shoes. Then we get in the car, and she remembered to bring the dog but not her book bag, but the door is locked, so I have to turn the car off and get out and get the darn bag and re-lock the door and re-start the car. AND it's only 40 degrees in September but yesterday it was 70!

After dropping the kids safely at school, I tackled all the paperwork received from meet the teacher night and realize the ONE form that needed to be sent in today to meet the deadline is still sitting by the computer.

Then I try to print something from the dinosaur of a computer, but the printer won't work for WHATEVER reason. But I need to print in order to accomplish one of my goals today. Sucked that up and move on to another goal: FIND A JOB. Preferably a teaching job. And I discover a great school in a nearby community is looking for an English teacher. YAY! But then I read that they want someone with their master's degree, and I don't have that, because I decided to get a certificate in interior design instead. Because after teaching for 2 years, while carrying 2 different children, and taking certification classes 8 months pregnant in order to get a PROFESSIONAL teaching license in Florida - we FREAKING moved to Massachusetts. And in MA I taught for a year in HELL with a TEMPORARY license only to be terminated at the end of that year because I didn't get my PRELIMINARY license. And then I did. 3 days later! So, I decided that I was just done with teaching. It was all too hard and complicated, and I had a 2 and 3-year-old and a husband who was working full-time and getting his master's degree, and there was just no more patience for hard and complicated. Interior design was fun and uncomplicated and not at all hard. 

Then, somewhere in the middle of trying to create an interior design business, I realized that I am ready. Ready to do hard and complicated again. Ready to teach, because it is what I feel called to do. BUT after applying to school after school, I realize I need my master's degree in education in order to get another job here and to get my PROFESSIONAL license. And I start reading the hoops I need to jump through in order to make that happen, and I just want to move back to Florida where I had already accomplished that goal. I want to go crawl in bed or go cry to my mommy and daddy! Because even though I am ready and willing to do the hard and complicated job of teaching high school students to read and write and analyze and synthesize, I cannot really afford to go to back to school again BEFORE getting a job!

So, I am in the middle of one of THOSE days. And it feels like nothing I do will work out. But I open my Bible, and I am reminded of this:

"The Lord says, 'I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name. When they call on me, I will answer; I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue and honor them. I will reward them with a long life and give them my salvation.'" - Psalms 91: 14-16


And one more time, I listen to this song by Jenny & Tyler, whose music I am a bit obsessed with these days.

the LORD is my refuge and strength

therefore i will not be afraid
though the mountains give way
and fall into the sea
He will come and rescue me


the LORD comes to me at break of day

He reaches down to guide me in His ways
though the oceans roar
in this dark and stormy sea
He will come and rescue me


halleluYah, He is with me

halleluYah, we cannot be moved
halleluYah, He is with me
halleluYah, i rest secure


be still and know that He is God

He will be exalted over all
come and behold His strength and majesty
yet He will come and rescue me


halleluYah, He is with me

halleluYah, we cannot be moved
halleluYah, He is with me
halleluYah, i rest secure


So, in the middle of this day, I rest secure. He will come and rescue me. After all, it IS Friday.


Shalom,

Ashley



















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