Why You Don't HAVE to Go to Church

But. There are 4 reasons why I DO.

I have had this post on my heart for a few weeks now but have been reluctant to actually write it down and share it. I don't want to sound like THAT person. You know, that self-righteous-know-it-all who you just want to punch? I have been that person. Sometimes I look way back in the past to like, yesterday, and want to punch myself.

So let me be completely honest here. Going to church on a regular basis is a renewed practice for me, and I haven't quite gotten it solidly locked into my weekly rhythm again. Since finding a church home about 6 months ago, I haven't made it 4 times in a month yet. Each Saturday night I go to bed with every intention of getting up the next morning and getting ready for church. Such good intentions...

Truth is I am a horrible morning person. It takes a strong reason - like having to go work or get my children to school on time - for me to be persuaded to actually GET OUT OF BED. I need to feel like I HAVE to. I just love my bed way too much; I love being snuggled up under the covers. And that terribly wonderful invention called a smart phone has completely ENABLED me. Really, it is all my Samsung's fault! I can check my email and scroll on FB and check the weather and text and all sorts of interactive things, right from my cozy place, without ever stepping foot on the cold hardwood floor. It's an introvert's dream machine.

I hold my weekends sacred. I consider it a great weekend if my car never leaves the driveway. I have actually avoided signing my children up for activities because they were held on Saturday mornings. I mean, who in their right mind would get up early on a Saturday morning? Not me. Not since my children became potty trained and learned to make their own breakfast. Thank. The. Lord. For. Cereal.

So Sundays. Aren't they just another Saturday? Look around and you'll see that to most of the world they are. Stores and restaurants are open. Even some banks are now open on Sundays. Little teams of footballers and cheerleaders and hockey players have practices on Sunday mornings. Gone are the days when the general population observed the Sabbath. And if Sunday is just a second Saturday, we have the choice to do what we want with it. Why sacrifice sleeping in or shopping or getting a DIY project done just to go to church?

For a long  time, my choice was to stay in bed on Sunday mornings. No one was making me get up. My husband has never really been a church-goer, so he's no help. My children realized, if we don't wake mom, she won't make us DO stuff (like get ready to go to church).

So, despite growing up in great churches and being involved in the Christian community, I stopped getting up on Sundays, when it became an easy choice not to. The church where I was part of the youth group and then got married in and taught and was a cell group leader kind of fell apart. Then we moved to New England, where the type of church that I was accustomed to seemed not to exist. And my long non-church-going gap occurred.

But this is why I finally started going again: I missed it. I really, really missed it. Why?

1. Because I LOVE it.  Praise and Worship. Love.  Sermons. Love.  The smiling, friendly people, who care about one another. Love. Maybe it's because I did grow up from infancy in church, but church feels like home to me. Those pews are comfort.

Maybe it's because I can FEEL God there. Of course, you can feel God elsewhere - at home holding your child, out in splendid nature, spending time in prayer, or any other place where you are spiritually aware. But I tend to get caught up in the every day living - the practical - and am not able to focus in on His presence the way I can in church, where that is my purpose.

Maybe it's because we were actually created to commune with God, and when at church, that's what I am doing. My focus is on Him, and so my soul is at rest. It is not fighting the battle of what should I be doing? Or am I doing the right thing? When I am worshiping in church, I transcend the concrete world and all it's myriad problems and enter into a realm of true peace. It is Sanctuary - a place of refuge from the storm. For that one hour and a half, all is well with my soul. That time of blissful peace is incredibly liberating, and it carries me farther than any other comfort I seek.

2. Because I NEED it. Of course, you can be a good person who doesn't go to church. There are tons of great people who don't. Many followers and believers of Christ don't subscribe to any kind of organized religion. Going to church doesn't automatically make you good or make you a Christian. But I need it. This particular terribly flawed human needs to go to church in order to remain focused. Blame it on my ADD. I need that weekly reminder of all that I have learned about living like Christ in order to continue living like Him.

I have known both selves. The church-goer and the non-church goer. And I like the church-goer better. She is nicer and more loving and more patient and kind. She is far from perfect but feels so much better. During the years that I wasn't attending, I was more selfish, cynical, bitter, unhappy, and less faith-filled. I wasn't able to be the person that I think God wants me to be, and I wasn't focusing on living out His will for my life. Selfish desires and worries and stresses took over, and I forgot to trust in Him. I was lost. And now, I feel found once again. Plus, when I am in church, I am honoring both the first and fourth commandments (Exodus 20: 3-11), which is always a good thing.

3. Because We Belong To Each Other. We were not meant to live out our paths in isolation. As much as it is my natural tendency to draw into myself and shut the world out, I know that I can't give into that selfish temptation. I do not exist for myself. If I did, it would be a terrible waste of a life. Over and over in the scriptures, we encounter the importance of working together: of lifting one another up, helping one another, loving one another. In I Corinthians 12:7, Paul says, "A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other." Not so that we can help ourselves but so we can help each other. Hebrews 10:23-25 says, "Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise. Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near."

Some of my best friends and best life experiences came from being involved in a church community. But let me be very clear. In church you will not find sinless people. You will not find perfect people. You will find people who are struggling and who are flawed. They have opinions and symptoms just like the rest of us. And, you will not find a perfect church. Not every church is good. In fact, you won't find God in all of them. Keep looking. Because the church needs us. It needs me. It needs you. It needs you to help in the nursery or to organize a pot-luck dinner. It needs you to teach our children. It needs our tithes and our offerings. Those lights don't illuminate the sanctuary without cost. The bathroom doesn't clean itself. The pastor's car needs gas too.

4. Because I CAN. I have been given that right and freedom by those who suffered for my ability to walk into any church I like and worship the way I please. Because if I do not continue to exercise that right and take advantage of that freedom, it may all be taken away from all of us. Because others cannot. Because a sacrifice was made for me. A sacrifice of blood and life. Because, if for no other reason, He is worth the sacrifice of a few hours of my time per week. So, because I can, I will. I will get out of bed on Sunday mornings. I will volunteer my time to help put on a Harvest Fest. I will use my spiritual gift and encourage other women. I will ramble on and on in a blog post that few will read, to say: I believe in Jesus, and I believe in living according to his teaching, and I believe in going to church. I will give my God, who sacrificed His child for me, a small sacrifice of praise and worship and time.

I don't HAVE to go to church. But I will. Sundays (most of them) you will find me Here. Probably at the 11:00 service. You are so very welcome to join me.

Love,

Ashley







.

On Criticism and Love

Forgive me for trying to tell you what to do. But please, please STOP IT!

Please, for the LOVE of God and all that is holy and/or human. Stop spewing hateful criticism under any disguise of being righteous or informed or "helpful."

Lately, I have wondered, mouth-wide-open, at the audacity of comments people make when they disagree with a point of view, a parenting style, politics, a method of faith-following, etc.

Don't get me wrong, I criticize. I am a HUGE commercial critic. Seriously, companies should hire me before letting any ad go on air. I could save them millions in bad ad campaigns. I can spot the good ones from the terrible in about 5.2 seconds. Just ask my husband - he gets to hear all my constructive criticism. And fashion. PLEASE. Don't get me started on the trends that should never have been. I mean, really, this T-shirt and jeans wearing SAHM has got the runway beat. I'm collecting pieces for my Shabby Chick line right now. Cause ain't nobody got money fo dat $170 blouse. Pilled-up 5-year-old sweatshirts like I am wearing right now are so much more GREEN anyhow.

Truthfully, I have been known to spread Toxic Tongue Disease from time to time. And I am completely preaching to the choir here. But I am really trying hard to watch my words and throw harsh criticism where it belongs. Because whoever came up with the phrase "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" was full of it. I'm calling BS. The truth is, wounds from sticks and stones usually heal up pretty quickly. But words can slice a path through the your heart so deep that the scar will last forever.

So please. STOP DESTRUCTIVELY CRITICIZING OTHERS. I have this sign hanging on my refrigerator to remind my children and myself to consider our words carefully.

If what we have to say doesn't fall into one of those categories, it probably isn't worth saying. And sometimes, it just isn't the right time or place for what we have to say, even if we are trying to be helpful. Before giving what you believe to be constructive advice, consider the following: your intention, your audience, your tone, and the mood of the person receiving the advice. Sometimes SILENCE IS GOLDEN. 

If you aren't sure what to say: SILENCE IS GOLDEN

If you can't say it nicely: SILENCE IS GOLDEN

If it's none of your business: SILENCE IS GOLDEN

Intention is everything. And love should guide our intentions. And LOVE IS "patient and KIND. Love is NOT jealous or boastful or proud or RUDE. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out." (I Corinthians 13:4-6)

One more thing. I've learned through teaching and parenting that encouragement is key. We respond to encouragement 10000% better than we respond to criticism. (That's a very unscientific fact). I have failed to realize this in the past. Criticism makes us defensive, guarded, and cranky. And the critics are everywhere. But, encouragement makes us want to try even harder. It puts a positive spark in our hearts. It gives us the courage and motivation to do hard things. 

Personally, I want to be remembered as an encourager. If I don't accomplish anything else in life than giving encouragement to those who need it, I will be OK with that. 

In Love,

Ashley